Lent And Why I'm Excited to Turn 30.

Don't mind me while I pound some
extra coffee before Lent *-*

So, religion is not bound to be something I write often about via this blog but as it is part of my life and motherhood, it may make an occasional appearance.  My family, which is Christian, is preparing for Lent.  Lent is something I have always been familiar with, as I was raised Catholic.  Though I have to say, I have never really understood or participated in it with real emotion or expectation of deep, personal growth.  The Church my family attends has a unique "rendition" of the 40 Day Fast and we are tailoring it for a second year in a row to help us grow a little in our physical, emotional and spiritual health.  This article is not a lesson on "Lent" and why you should or shouldn't do it, don't be scared ;)

Growing up Catholic, I always practiced Lent as the act of choosing one thing to give up or, "fast," for the 40 days prior to Easter Sunday.  Being a child, I would pick things that were either easy to give up or near to impossible because I had no deep understanding of this tradition or how to set small attainable goals for oneself when trying to make change.  I remember giving up chocolate one year for Lent.  Wildly successful! I was probably 15.  I had probably overheard my mother vow to give up chocolate for Lent.  I was far too young to really understand "chocolate dependence!"   I remember asking one year if I could give up homework. Particularly massive failure.  Now that I am an adult and willingly seeking knowledge in my faith and better grasp the idea of how "fasting" helps to make us aware of the things we rely on to provide comfort, stability, security, SANITY outside of the natural peaceful nature of our souls, Lent has become something I look forward to.  It was a time, last year, where my family produced real, long-lasting change for the better in some of our eating and lifestyle habits.  I believe part of the reason We've been able to accomplish these small changes is because our church is sort of genius in the way it has "re-designed" the 40 Day Fast.  Instead of 40 days of fasting one or more items, comforts, "fixes," we break up Lent into 4, ten-day fasts.  They do not build upon each other.  Once the ten days is up you can go back to eating/using/participating in what you just fasted for ten days.  Maybe you decide to keep it going for the whole 40 days.  Maybe it lasts for the rest of your life. At any rate here's how it breaks down:   

So Lent beings tomorrow, March 5th and, for our family it begins with a 10 Day "Media Fast."  Media includes:  Television, Newspapers, Magazines, Internet, Radio and Social Media of all formats.  Some media cannot be fasted because it is required for work or peaceful household functioning.  For example, Joel who is a Software Engineer for Amazon, simply cannot fast the internet.  I, new to the blogging world have decided that I will limit my internet time but don't want to fast the internet when I'm just starting to get on a roll here.  What we are doing:  I am fasting radio.  Sometimes, I get in my car because I'm desperate for silence and quiet and you know what happens?  I blast the radio and check-out.  For ten days, in my car I'm going to listen to the sound of my tires turning and my kids jabbering.  If I'm using the car ride as a desperate escape plan from the noise in the house you know what?  I'm keeping the radio off and giving the kids either food or their Leap Pads and Kindles to occupy them for a few precious minutes of silence.  Maybe, JUST MAYBE, winter will throw us a frigin bone here and warm up just enough to be able to roll the windows down while we drive!  Is that so much to ask?!
I will also be fasting Facebook other than "Mommy In Me" posts.  I'm going to try my best to not waste 25 minutes scrolling through the news feed to check out everyone else's business for ten whole days.  And NO HUFFINGTON POST ARTICLES!  I really have a sickness there.
I have no intention whatsoever of fasting the Today Show (I'm a young soul.  I'm not prepared for that level of spiritual devotion).  But I am fasting T.V. between the hours of 12 and 3 p.m.  That's usually when I get my boys down for SOME part of an overlapping nap and I eat lunch and watch some T.V. for up to an hour when they do end up asleep at the same time. I'm replacing that hour with blogging, spring cleaning or even reading some books I'm far behind on.  I find I never feel fulfilled spending that hour watching T.V.  I do it out of a sense of "I better take that hour whether I really need it or not because it could be THE only hour I spend alone all day!"  I think I'd feel much more accomplished and full if I better used that hour.  Honestly, that hour would be better spent asleep than watching 2 episodes of "Sister Wives!"  I'm also fasting on behalf of my boys, T.V. between the hours of 3-5 p.m.  The mornings we tend to be busy, often out of the house so T.V. is rare at that time of our day.  The afternoon when they get up from naps, however, is a different story.  By then I've started cleaning, folding laundry, prepping dinner and I use T.V. to keep them occupied sometimes so I can complete ONE TASK! I think a majority of the time I don't over-use it but particularly this time of year I know that I do.  So Lent falls at a good time.  We did the same thing last year and I either put my tasks away or they have some room-time so I can complete them.  From 5:00-6:00 p.m. I simply need the flexibility to put t.v. on when I'm actively trying to cook dinner and they are actively trying to tear down my house.  God would want me to have a house right?  T.V. it is!  The goal in these 10 days is to de-clutter the mind.  I did a similar "tailoring" of this 10 day fast last year and was shocked at how much input my brain is subject to in a day and how little I actually pay FULL ATTENTION to some things as a result of this.  So, this brings us to March 15th. 

The second ten-day fast is what we call a "fiene" Fast.  

Where we give up caffeine (chocolate, coffee, soda etc), sweets like ice cream, cake, Oreos, Alcohol, cigarettes and even shopping malls.  The idea here is to show your body and your brain who's in charge when it comes to getting a "quick fix."  You know what this means for me?  No coffee (probably not fasting 100% but cutting down for as many days as I can) and....*dun, dun, dun* NO TARGET!

Such a beautiful, wonderous place.  *sigh*

Target is a place of spiritual healing for me, I truly believe this.  To wander, aimlessly, the aisles at Target with a Starbucks Latte in hand snatching clearance clothes, home decor, food and toilet bowl cleaner all in one trip does something for my soul.  I think it symbolizes to me that someone in the world knows how to do it all!  (the only thing Target needs is a lounge area where we could sit and drink our coffee and say "f the toilet bowl cleaner" on occasion).  It has become a weekly tradition for me and my sisters in law to visit Target, grab coffee, walk around for hours and be asked to leave by store staff because they've made the announcement three times and we're still perusing baby clothes.  But I'm going to try to not go for ten days.  If I'm that desperate for something outside and mindless to do I'm going to replace it with something else (I have no idea what but it can't involve spending money or shopping in any way).  Maybe I'll drive to the college Library and read a book for a couple hours.  I don't know.  But I know that this is something I've found important in the last year or so.  I've come to rely on a few things in my life very heavily to distract myself from the things that are not functioning at their optimal level.  Our schedule is tough right now with me home full time and Joel commuting daily to Cambridge.  I have kids starting pre-school and a house we've been trying to sell for EVER but can't because it remains "under water" after the market crash.  It's easy for me to fixate on those things which are heavy and mean something big for my family.  To contradict that stress I use things that seem small, insignificant and mindless to cope.  I drink coffee and use Target as some sort of Temple.  Both need to change.  In terms of coffee, well, last year we fasted "Coca Cola" for the ten days and you know what?  We haven't purchased coke for our own home (other than for a cookout or birthday party) since then.  We have consumed it out to dinner or at cookouts and parties but we no longer waste money and our health drinking soda for lunch and dinner. And, when we do drink it, it's usually one or two instead of at LEAST three!  Amazing!  And amazing how little I miss it and how disappointing I find it when I actually do consume it!  Coffee and I have a different relationship.  I don't abuse it the way I did soda.  I like having it in my life.  I think I could stand to cut back but more importantly than the coffee itself, I think I could definitely drink more water on a daily basis and accomplish several things:  1) drinking less coffee, 2) eating less food and 3) no longer stomping around like a zombie from "Walking Dead" in an ongoing state of total dehydration.  I feel like there's no way I should be alive and have normal skin color with the LACK of water in my life!

Waaaaaater!
(image from scifimafia.com) 

I hope to adopt some healthy change here in terms of water consumption.  I have no expectation whatsoever that I will love Target any less or give up coffee completely.  On to the next ten-days.

March 25th Begins the "Veggie Fast."  For the next 10 days you give up meats, cheese, sweets, breads and grains.  You can eat vegetables, fruit, legumes and nuts.  I love the idea of this fast but I just can never seem to do it with whole-hearted intent. Last year we compromised and did this for all meals other than dinner.  This year I think we will do the same.  I can't figure out how to make a dinner for my family that consists of these limited items without making two separate dinners:  one for Joel and I and 1 for the kids.  Kids need a rounded diet and my kids can be picky so I have a hard time making food changes around here.  I know after a fast like this I would be bound to feel 20x's better in and out but I just haven't wrapped my head around it enough to make the commitment 100%.  So this year, we will probably do the same "tailoring" and do the veggie/fruit diet for breakfast and lunch and dinner will be giant bowls of pasta and meat sauce -_-.  I can't ask my kids to fast cheese or breads either.  So they're "off the hook."  ;)  

The final 10 day installment is a Full fast.  Liquids only from April 4-13th.  Many people adjust this and fast every day from sun-up to sun-down.  Others fast 100% for only 3, 4 or 5 days.  People who fast food completely say it deepens their relationship with God by symbolically ridding their body of any physical need for sustenance whatsoever. Once their body is past the feelings of "hunger," it can function despite deprivation and this is attributed to our spiritual power to live without worldly things.  While I am inclined to believe this to be true and to be a remarkable spiritual experience I, am not even attempting this one for a second year in a row.  Last year I was nursing a newborn and a full fast is never recommended for anyone with health issues or nursing and pregnant moms.  This year, well, I'm just not ready for that!  Joel and I recently made a commitment to waking at the unholy hour of 4:30 a.m. to get up together, workout together and drink our first cup of coffee together each morning.  We struggle to find time to spend with each other with the schedule we've been pulling.  He has always had to rise early and I have always slept the extra hour to hour and 1/2 because the kids (whether born or in utero) had me up all night.  Now the kids are sleeping better and better through the night and you know what?  I'm tired of complaining about the time we don't have.  It's not that we don't have it.  It's that we've never been willing to re-work it.  So we're getting to bed earlier, waking together and accomplishing goals together!  We've been at it a few days already and it's been surprisingly awesome.  I have showered every day for 3 days!  Can I get a "WOOT! WOOT!" from all Stay At Home Moms out there?!  And I haven't needed any MORE coffee to keep me going through the day!  We both have wanted to make more time to keep in shape and have struggled to do that separately because all that means is an additional set of hours we are not spending on our relationship.  So we're killing two birds with one stone here.  P90x at 4:30 a.m. is where we are now bonding and working out.  We don't expect to be sending in before and after modeling photos to Beachbody but we do expect to get physical and relational results here.  That was a long side-rant to make the point that I NEED SUSTENANCE IF THIS GOAL IS GOING TO BE ACCOMPLISHED. We will not be attempting the full fast.  Maybe we will try to extend the "veggie fast except for dinner" an additional ten days?  Still thinking on this.  

So there's our church's rendition of Lent.  My point in this article is not to educate you on Lent or promote it as a way of spiritual growth but to highlight that this begins, for myself and many (religious or not), a season of change and new commitments.  I am particularly excited about Lent this year because it marks a season of change in a new decade for me.  I turn 30 this year.  I have never looked forward to a birthday as much as I do this one.  I feel like the most complicated, dramatic, insecure and unbalanced decade of my life is about to be put to rest.  And I cannot wait!  30 marks the first year of a new decade that I intend to know myself, grow myself and show myself better.  By that I mean I will not spend inordinate amounts of time worrying or contemplating what others think or feel about my life and choices (and not in the "angsty" way we all say that when we're 20).  Legitimately, I'm at peace with my life, my past and my goals for my future. Time to just live it out!  I will grow where I need to by acknowledging where growth is needed and the potential is present.  I will not quit on goals because they are momentarily hard because I now know that you can put off a goal and it will only present itself again many months or years later.  And I will present better to the world because I have found that peace and growth and feel secure in both.  When you feel insecure you show only parts of yourself to the world (or all of yourself out of desperation to make a statement like Miley Cyrus?? I speculate).  At any rate, I will show only 100% true, genuine, Kristin to the world because I'm finally good with her.  

So, whether this time of year is a spiritual journey for you or just sort of a coincidental "spring fever ambition!"  I wish you the best in your goals and endeavors!  Send me back some good vibes because we'll need them over here in this household!  

As always, Thanks for reading <3

-K